Another Argument Against Literary Events

David Galef at Inside Higher Education gives a taxonomy of the contemporary modes of delivering poetry for an audience. A couple of examples:

breathy:

The other day...I went...to the water... [whoosh of air]
which was deep...as a bell...sounding... [inhale].
I swam...for hours until... [exhale]
I developed a cramp and sank [glug glug]
to the bottom...where...I’m speaking from...
right now...
... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ...

slam:

The lake is blue! Cobalt or Safire! Yet
Bluer than blue, like the way I get
When I realize I’m wasting all my time
Messin’ around with rhythm ’n’ rhyme.
Who prints this stuff? Don’t think I don’t know it—
Folks who don’t like a performance poet.