Giant Literary List 2
The canonical answer to this is Mansfield Park, but I'd also like to take this opportunity to hate all of Dickens's children.
Books I Lied About Reading and Then Wrote an A+ Term Paper On
I never did this. I liked reading.
Books I Lied About Reading/Liking Solely to Look Smart/Pretentious
Oh, man. Ok, I'll come right out and admit that I did not get more than twenty pages into Spivak's A Critique of Post-Colonial Reason.. I have never read Bakhtin on Rabelais. Yes, yes, I know it's great; yes, yes, I know it was on a bunch of my bibliographies. Bourdieu is a profoundly unpleasant seeming person, though I know that's an unsophisticated thing to say. Oh, I could go on.
Books I Wish I Hadn't Finished, or Worst. Ending. Ever.
There's a perfect example of that I read recently. Crap, what was it? It had a whole bunch of characters and an odd, kind of baton-passing kind of narrative structure. It took place in New York City during the election crisis of 2000, and everybody worked in television. Anyone know what I'm talking about? Well, the ending sucked. A lot. I've also never liked the end of Jane Eyre.
Books I Read after Oprah Recommended Them
This just doesn't compute.
Books I Will Never Read Precisely Because Oprah Recommends Them
This also just doesn't compute. Oprah is completely irrelevant to my life.
Literary Characters I've Developed Crushes On
Byron. Late-period Byron, that is! (Wouldn't have you think I liked that Childe Harold twit.)
Books I Only Read to Impress Other People
Oh man. Fucking Spivak goes on that long, long list.
Best Books Not to Read from Start to Finish, or Best Bathroom Books
Benjamin's Arcades project.
Books I Shouldn't Admit Made Me Cry Like a Baby
I don't cry at books---that I can recollect, that is---but I was ridiculously moved by China Miéville's Iron Council (even though I still prefer his The Scar).
Books I Only Read for the Title
I do this all the time, so no particular instance leaps out to me.
Books I Re-Read When I Have Nothing Else to Read
Books People Keep Recommending That, Frankly, Sucked Ass
I keep seeing people on the internet express some love for Robert Jordan's fantasy series, which is almost as foul as Terry Brooks's. Nick Hornby's novels are pretty awful.
Books My Teacher Made Me Read That I Really, Really Liked
It took me years and years, but eventually I learned to love Great Expectations. I loved a lot of books my teachers made me read; that's why I stayed in school for so long.